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The Codori Family

Ellen Loretta Dowsley

My grandmother - Ellen Loretta Dowsley - Daughter of Bernadine Codori - passed away at 85 on June 9th, 2020 in Pittsburgh, PA (South Hills). She was a cool lady so I wrote this fun obituary for her. She was amazing! Enjoy!

Last night, the baddest grandma on the planet passed away peacefully at home with her family. My grandmother, Ellen Loretta Dowsley, known as Ellie Lampe to most was 85 when she passed. In her final days, it was my mom Debbie, her son Bill, myself, and Danielle, Bill's daughter by her side. It was my honor to welcome her home to her next chapter. Here are some cool facts about her that made her great: Born in the worst depression in history at the height (1934). Father was drafted to WWII at 38 and died at 40 and was buried in Holland where he still remains. The story is that Bernadine sent him a ‘Dear John’ letter. Orphaned at 21 when her mother died of heart failure at 48. Married and divorced twice; escaped one abuser with five kids to raise with no further education. Raised those 5 kids on her own with no help. Never drove or had a credit card (well except her Macy's that she loved). Worked at the iconic Suburban room and waitressed for some interesting characters at that time (think Goodfellas). Made her living as a housekeeper for some of the most prominent families in our area and took me along for the ride. Their influence and her demonstration of pride in everything she did shaped my life. She was never their employee, always their friend. Raised two grandchildren; myself along with my mom as my dad passed at 25 and my cousin Danielle when she lived with my uncle Bill. Beat pancreatic cancer in 1998 like it was no big deal. Had two strokes she never knew about. Never took an aspirin or medicine for anything. Finished out her years at Bill's then my mom's where she was known to smoke her beloved cigarettes, eat her cakes and pies, gossiped about all the neighbors and had her coffee. Growing up in Mt. Lebanon, you may have seen her walking around town with her bubushka (I forgot to mention as a child her and her sisters got ringworm and the radiation caused hair thinning so she just wore a bubushka for years. It was her signature move!). She taught me how to work hard, how to always depend on yourself financially, the importance of never letting your circumstance define you, and to always send a handwritten thank you note. I'm pretty sure I was the only 10 year old that knew how to formally set a table or clean silver. Those little things were important to her; doing a job the best. She never let me act a fool and she always put me in my place. I am pretty sure I could have been the president and she would have still criticized me to keep me humble. She was my everything and I am honored to have had her in my life until she was 85. She ultimately passed from lung cancer at home with us and she fought till the very end even when we told her she could go. That was her - never listened to anything, did it on her own terms, fight till the end. Some people's grandma's are sweet and play bingo. Mine taught me how to be a boss. So thankful to have a life you weren't able to live. I love you till the end. In lieu of a viewing as she didn't want that, please do one of the following to honor her: buy a lottery ticket (her faves were 222 on the daily # and scratch tickets), throw a chip in a slot machine at a casino (she loved gambling and went to Vegas many times), eat a whole pie or bag of candy (major sweet tooth), or drink some coffee or a cold beer. Onward and upward, Deda.